


Numb

by EscherCain



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hospitals, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:15:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29930532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscherCain/pseuds/EscherCain
Summary: Suga wakes up in the hospital and finds out that his life has changed forever.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Waking From a Long Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> !!!Trigger Warning!!!: This story is set in a hospital. My story is not focused on the medical aspect but it does mention it as part of the au. If you are uncomfortable with medical things such as medical equipment and injuries this might not be the fic for you. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor so I apologize if this offends anyone or if the information is incorrect. This is just me putting an idea down on paper. Please be nice in the comments!
> 
> This is my first time posting so I hope you guys enjoy. 
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE BEFORE YOU START: The italicized text is mental dialogue

When Sugawara Koushi opened his eyes, everything felt...off. He wasn't home, that's for sure. He tried to move his head but something seemed to restrict his movement. His neck felt like it had been hit by a truck. In his periphery, he saw a dark-haired figure slumped in a chair. He opened his mouth to speak but realized with his rising panic that he couldn't because there was a tube down his throat. In fact, he became aware that he couldn't do anything - the goddamned tube was breathing for him in a steady, mechanic in and out. Suga was definitely panicking now. He tried swallowing but gagged on the tube. _“GET THIS TUBE OUT OF MY THROAT!”_ , he willed his leaden arms to pull the tube out. No luck. Through his blurring tears, he saw the figure start awake and rush over.  
“Suga!”, Azumane Asahi nearly wept as his head blurred into view above Suga, blocking out the painfully fluorescent lights. “It’s okay,” he muttered, more to himself than anyone, “you’re okay. I’m here, don’t worry. I’ll explain what is going on.” Asahi brushed the tears from Suga’s eyes as Suga began to calm down. “First of all, cause you can’t talk, blink once for yes, twice for no. Okay?” Suga blinked.  
Asahi looked like he hadn’t slept for days. He had prominent bags under his eyes, making him look like a college student during finals week. His goatee had deteriorated into a widening patch of scruff and it looked like he had put his hair up in a timed race. From what Suga could observe from his narrow area of sight, Asahi’s usually tidy shirt was one button off and half-tucked.  
Asahi pulled a chair over and sat down heavily and roughly rubbed his face in his hands up and down, up and down. He let his arms flop down onto the bed. Impossibly, he looked even more tired and disheveled than before. Asahi wrung his hands and sighed loudly, “where do I even begin? I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that you’re in a hospital?” Suga blinked. “You… were in a coma for two weeks.” Suga’s eyes widened. _“That must’ve been why I could hear people talking but not do anything. I thought I was dreaming. But why am I here?”_ "Do you remember what happened?" Suga focused back on Asahi and blinked twice. "How much can you remember?" He closed his eyes and tried to think back.


	2. Remembering

It was dark. People shuffled in and out of the room, speaking in low whispers. The general monotony of traffic was a regularly scheduled program interspersed with snippets of memory. A familiar voice, Daichi's, kept saying over and over and over, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" until his voice was overwhelmed with sobs. Suga had wanted to scream, "WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR?!?" but his voice was mute to the world. Suga was standing in the middle of a highway. He turned his head to see a car barreling down the road towards him. Suga ran. He stumbled and fell. The car kept coming. He tried desperately to stand and keep running but he was so tired. So, so tired. His eyes closed and he fell into a deep sleep. _"Maybe it was better to sleep.”_ After all, he was tired of running. _“Yes. This is better. No… no! I am not going to get run over by this car! It’s a goddamned Prius. Such an undignified way to die!"_ Suga awoke again into his half-sleep. Someone else was there. Two people. They were crying. _"Why were they crying?"_ Suga melted into a dead sleep.

_"No no. Think further you numb skull. Think!"_ Suga squeezed his eyes tighter and thought with all his might past the dance of confusion and half-sleep and nightmares. 

The last thing he remembered was the feeling of churning round and round inside a flipping car. Right before that something hit them from their blind spot and Daichi's arm flung out in front of Suga.


	3. What Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE: the dashes (-) are quick stops in speech.

_"Oh"_ , thought Suga as he opened his eyes. _"Oh. That's why I'm here. Where is Daichi then?"_.  
"Do you remember?", Asahi looked at Suga sadly. He blinked. "you- you're." Asahi took a deep breath and looked down at his nervous hands. "I honestly don't know how to say it. Maybe it'll be easier if I just say it. Is that okay?"  
_"Please"_ , Suga blinked.  
Asahi inhaled and exhaled a few times while looking anywhere but at Suga's expectant eyes, trying to gather up his courage. "Look", he said finally, "I don't know very much, but the doctors said that - the doctors said that you've broken your neck." He said in one breath, finally looking Suga in the eyes. "The doctors can tell you more about what that means. Do you want me to call them in?"  
Suga blinked twice, _"Not yet. I'm not ready."_ Asahi saw Suga's eyes tearing up and gently hugged Suga for a long time. 

When Asahi finally let go Suga's eyes were dry and steely hard. "Ready? Should I call them?" Suga nodded as much as he could. "Okay. I'll be right back." Suga squeezed his eyes shut and tried to prepare his mind for whatever they were going to throw at him.


	4. The Diagnosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the doctors tell Suga his diagnosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are mental dialogue.

The doctor moved the bed so Suga was sitting up, allowing him to properly survey his surroundings. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. Vertigo tilted the room and Suga’s olfactory nerves and taste buds were assaulted with the exquisite smell of bile. The nausea passed and Suga saw that he was in a small ward with several machines and tubes sticking out of him in various places. On a small dresser across from his bed was a heap of get-well cards, presents, and balloons. There was a large window on the right with horrible dark-puce curtains made even worse by the atrocious dirty-blue wall. The room appeared to be several stories high. On the other side of Suga, there was a curtain blocking his view of whatever was behind it, which he assumed was the door.   
“Hi I’m Dr. Ai Yumiko,” introduced the short woman. She looked on the young side of 40. She had dark hair tied in a low bun, a round face, and tan skin. She looked tough, weathered. “We’re very glad you are awake!”   
The man behind her introduced himself, “I’m Dr. Taro Tomomi. I’m a third-year resident here.” Dr. Taro towered behind Dr. Yumiko. His face was angled with high cheekbones and he boasted a brown man bun with an undercut.   
Suga glanced down and saw that Asahi was holding his hand. For the second time that day Suga had to fight to keep panic from taking over. _"How long had Asahi been holding his hand?"_ Suga closed his eyes, _"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck."_  
“We are going to replace your ventilator with an oxygen mask so you aren’t as uncomfortable. You should refrain from speaking for a couple of hours as your throat will still be a bit sore.” said Dr. Yumiko. Suga gagged as the tube was pulled out and found that he was suffocating a bit before they put on the oxygen mask. Suga closed his watering eyes.   
"Sugawara, you were in a very bad car accident," Suga opened his eyes and focused his eyes on Dr. Yumiko. _"Anywhere but my hand."_  
"You're paralyzed from the neck down. I'm sorry."   
Suga just stared blankly. His eyes were open but he saw nothing. He perceived the lilt of the doctor's voices, but heard nothing. He stayed like that long after the doctors left.


	5. What Happened to Daichi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

_"DAICHI!! IS DAICHI OKAY??"_ Suga snapped back into reality. His eyes bored holes into Asahi. Asahi withered under Suga’s stare.   
“Ummm,” he stuttered. “Erm…”   
“Dai...chi,” Suga croaked. His vocal cords felt like dry reeds scraping together in the wind.  
“Ah, he’s okay. He broke his arm, but that’s all.”   
Blink, _“Okay. Good.”_  
“I hate to do this, but I have to do some studying today. It’s Sunday and school starts again tomorrow. I’ll visit again soon okay?”   
_“Right, class. Our summer break must be over.”_ Blink.   
“See you! Make sure you rest.”   
_“Like there’s anything else I can do.”_  
Suga blinked a goodbye and Asahi was gone.


	6. Time Passes

The next few weeks were a blur. Suga found that he got tired easily, which was frustrating when people visited. Every day after school, his little brother would visit. The first time he came by he brought Suga’s favorite food, mapo tofu. Suga’s mouth started watering so much he had to swallow multiple times. It was insanely good after hospital food. 

A month went by quickly. Suga started gaining feeling in his arms, which was a relief. At first he could only feel pins and needles, a sign that his nerves were waking up. Soon he was able to use his phone and didn’t have to rely on the nurses for everything. More visitors were allowed in and the whole team visited including coach Ukai and Takeda sensei. Daichi wasn’t able to go, unfortunately. 

Weeks went by and still, Daichi hadn't visited.  
Suga kept texting and calling him and Daichi would either leave him on read or make up excuses. “Daichi blames himself,” Asahi said after Suga confided in him.

Suga tried to keep his voice even, "Does Daichi still want me?" He and Asahi were outside in the courtyard. It was a warm fall day.  
"Yes," Asahi smiled his melancholy smile, "Yes. I think so, but you should ask him yourself." Suga laughed humorlessly, "He can't even stand talking to me."


	7. In Which Daichi Picks Up His Phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst warning
> 
> Hope you are enjoying my story so far.   
> Leave a comment below. I'd love to hear your feedback and what you think!

Sawamura Daichi’s phone rang mid-run. "Hey Asahi, what's up?"   
"Daichi?" Suga's voice was soft and hesitant. "  
Hey Suga," his voice was ragged from his run.   
"Why haven't you visited?" Tears pricked Suga's eyes. He strained to control his voice. Daichi swallowed past the lump in his throat, but the lump that felt like his heart wouldn't go away.   
"I-"   
"Daichi," Daichi had never heard Suga sound so vulnerable as he did now. "Do you still… want me?" Suga's voice caught as he said it. In all the years that Daichi had known Suga, he had never seen him come close to crying. His heart felt like it was ripping out of his chest, and it was not from his recent run. Guilt washed over him. Of course, Suga would never blame anything on anybody else but himself.   
"Of course I still want you," Daichi breathed, "I'm coming over this minute."


	8. Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!Dialogue note!!!: The dashes (-) are supposed to be abrupt stops/breaths

Daichi’s familiar figure stood silhouetted in the doorway. Asahi looked between them, “I’ll excuse myself.” A pregnant silence filled the space. 

“I’m sorry.” It was too difficult to look Suga in the eyes. 

“How dare you,” Suga’s voice was low and dangerous. “How dare you come in here and say ‘I’m sorry’ without even looking at me. Two months have gone by without so much as a word from you!” Suga sucked in a breath, “I have to relearn everything! - Like I’m a toddler Daichi, a toddler! I had to learn how to breathe again. BREATHING! -” Suga was panting hard now, sucking in air between words. “- A week ago I learned - how to sit up by myself. - Sounds easy, sitting up. - It was a huge accomplishment - for me. - Everything I took - for granted - is ten times, twenty times - fifty times harder now. - And - you can’t even look at me! - You - you couldn’t even - be bothered to visit me!” Suga slumped back onto the upright bed. His voice was icy. “Is this - some - pity trip? - To make you - feel better - for - yourself? I didn’t - know - you could - be so - cold - “ He shut his eyes tightly, concentrating on pulling air in and out of his lungs. _“I forgot to breathe... Fuck… Just don’t pass out.”_


	9. Hey Siri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!Dialogue notes!!!: Dashes (-) are abrupt stops/breaths. In this case, crying.

After what felt like a long time, Suga finally got his breath back. He was afraid that if he opened his eyes Daichi would be gone and that him being here wasn’t real. He felt a drop of water fall on his forearm. _“What…”_ He opened his eyes to find that Daichi was sitting in the chair by the bed holding his hand and crying. _“Um what??”_  
“I’m so sorry Suga, it’s all my fault!” Daichi was crying.  
_“Daichi is crying… What the fuck? Does he think I’m dying???”_ “What’s your fault? I’m not dying or anything.”  
“It’s all my fault - this whole mess. - It’s my fault that you’re - you’re here. - It’s my fault that you’re paralyzed. - I - I couldn’t bring myself to visit because - because I feel so guilty.” Daichi’s eyes were full of tears. He looked so vulnerable in that moment. A lump formed in Suga’s throat as he looked into those familiar brown eyes. “I understand if you - if you don’t want me in your life anymore. - Just say so and I’ll go.”  
“Hey Siri,” Daichi was cut short by Suga. “Call Asahi.”  
“Hey Suga, everything good?”  
“Yeah. Could you come back? I need you to do the thing we talked about.”  
“Be right there.”  
_“What is going on? Suga probably can’t bear to even speak to me right now. Is Asahi going to throw me out?”_  
Asahi came in and stood with his back to the door, on the opposite side of the bed facing Daichi. “Are you sure about this Suga?” Asahi said, glancing at Daichi’s tear-streaked face.  
Suga nodded. “Daichi, will you please stand up.”  
Daichi slowly pushed the chair back and stood facing Asahi.  
“Asahi, please give it your all for me.”  
Asahi rolled his strong shoulders back, stood to his full height, and slapped Daichi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEHEH. There two things I definitely wanted to include when I had this story idea.  
> 1\. Someone feeling guilty for something they didn't do  
> 2\. Asahi slapping the shit out of the guilty person


	10. I've Waited Two Months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!!! I'm thinking about maybe continuing the story or writing an epilogue if there's interest. Let me know in the comments! 
> 
> Also, you can find me on Twitter @EscherCain   
> Tag me if you make a fan art! I would love to see it :)

Daichi fell onto his hands and knees. He saw nothing but stars. He literally saw stars. The left side of his face was numb and prickling. When his vision cleared he stood up carefully. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!?”   
Asahi’s hands went up in surrender, “Hey, don’t blame me! I was only doing what Suga asked me to do.”   
“Are you his puppet now or something?”  
“I would do it if I could. He’s just doing me a favor okay? I needed to slap the sense into you. Daichi,” Suga’s face became serious, “I have never blamed you for what happened and I never will.”   
Daichi sat down heavily and put his face in his hands.   
“It was not your fault at all,” Suga said gently. “I remember what happened. You broke your arm protecting me. None of it was your fault.” Daichi looked up. Suga looked bright and warm like he always did, glowing from the inside out. Daichi felt dull compared to him. He wondered if other people felt like that too. “But I probably won’t forgive you for a long time for not visiting until now.”   
_“Why do I always end up the one being comforted?”_ “Ah I really am sorry,” said Daichi, this time looking Suga in the eyes.   
“That’s more like it. You’re still not forgiven though.”   
“Can I hug you?”  
“Mura, I’ve waited two months for you to hug me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys enjoyed my story. <3 
> 
> Let me know if you want an epilogue


End file.
